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hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Topic initiated on Monday, March 15, 2004  -  6:56 PM Reply with quote
Smiles!


peace/assalamoalaykum

this happened to our colleague's known one, sad but interesting

she comes from a small village in a remote country
she asked her neighbour who had telephone at home that she wud call every now and then to check all was well at home
when she called after a few weeks she was shocked to know that her dear cat was dead
she told her neighbour it was not v. nice to tell her straightaway like this; she shud rather hv said something e.g that the cat had climbed the roof top, then in her next call gradually; like it had fallen off the roof and finally that it had died
the neighbour apologised

when she called again after a while the neighbour reported,
"your mum has climbed the roof top------"

NB:i was having grumbles in stomach to share this with u all, and then i also thought u all deserved some smiles after hard work.
(don't forget to pray for the demise and the family though, pls.)
however if the admin thinks this website is not suitable for jokes like this or i'm introducing something they wud not like to continue, they can pls delete this;
otherwise i wud invite forum mates to add decent jokes off and on as our beloved sws and his companions were known to share such smiles within laid limits.
i'm sure this will not divert us from our courses and other work we all r doing on this web, insha'Allah, and wud rather work as healthy refreshment
regards


.

Edited by: hkhan on Saturday, May 08, 2004 11:17 PM
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Friday, March 19, 2004  -  7:52 PM Reply with quote
On a routine ward round with team, my colleague requested me to converse with a patient who cud only speak pushto
as i finished talking, my colleague, who was feeling a bit lazy after night on call, went on
"oh henna, cud u also listen to her chest pls"

while i took the stethoscope from the nurse i smiled to her
"does her chest speak pushto as well???"
lol!


.
gohar

PAKISTAN
Posted - Friday, March 19, 2004  -  11:44 PM Reply with quote
y? did the chest sounded like a "crush machine"...
Shahzad

IRELAND
Posted - Saturday, March 20, 2004  -  2:02 AM Reply with quote
Hmmm.. i dont recall too many genuinely funny jokes, but i've got one that u'll laugh at - not because it's funny, but because it's just sooo bad..


A man walks into a butcher's and sees pieces of steak hanging from the ceiling.

"Assalaam-Alaikum, brother, why are those steaks hanging down?"

"Wa-Alaikum-Assalaam, well, we're having a competition - everyone who jumps up and manages to touch the steaks gets a free meal tonight, but anyone who fails has to pay for everyone elses meals... so, u wanna have a go?"

"No, not really"

"Why?"

"The stakes are too high..."
Naheed Akhtar

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, March 20, 2004  -  3:55 AM Reply with quote
They are good jokes and made me lol.
Dr.Henna, Your style will never change! You do the same in your dars but honestly we enjoy it.Because making Islam boring is not good. i think we are still learning all the good you people are trying to tell us.but it is bad that we women are not using much internet.
may God helpus and help you all trying for Good
(i wish to see you before i leave. Are you free next tuesday evening?)
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Sunday, March 21, 2004  -  8:35 PM Reply with quote
hope it hasn't been misunderstood that i just quote jokes during the study circle!as its a serious study of Qura'n and about recent additions to the study islam website(will bring up in announcements/news letter soon so more local members can join)
yes i do mention some in relevance, as n wen
(will call u sister, re: tues; will rather see u tomorrow in the circle?)
wassalaam

.
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Thursday, March 25, 2004  -  9:26 PM Reply with quote
u all r really serious!
i feel embarassed now

gohar why did u say "grunting engine"? a taunt on the language "innay"!!(hv u heard that in birmingham? )

anyway i came across an interesting incidence today
while meeting an education authority officer in a meeting re: our child,as me and my husband enquird about the software we requested a while ago, he gave his reason in an apologitic style that he had been transferred to the area only nine months ago
it spontaneously came to me which i had to tell him
"but as per the basic rules of Human Creation/Development and as a matter of fact,obstetrics, nine months is a whole lot of a period when things can b completed to their full extent!!! "


.
khargoshjr

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Thursday, March 25, 2004  -  10:06 PM Reply with quote
Dear All

Received all the pics from my old glassgo. When I remember about
glassgo, I remember one scene from this party and makes me laugh in
embarrassment. Qureshi-cola one of the four Naval cadets sent to
Dartmouth for training, had invited us the rest of the three friends to
attend a birthday party in glassgo because Q-cola used to live in
glassgo during holidays. We departed on my BMW to glassgo to attend that
silly party all the way from london. I was standing near the wall and
just in continuation to the wall there was this curtain hanging on the
wall. I considered it to be a door or a window which was covered with
the long curtain. I took the biggest piece of cake and every other dish
in my one single plate. As we had just arrived from a very long journey
and we were pennyless and totally hungry, probably we had not eaten
since last 36 hours or so. I had stuffed my plate with food as we stuff
our plates in restuarants where you get one small plate for
as-much-as-you-pour Salad. I took my plate and tried to back off from
the main scene so that I could gulp-in the maximum in the shortest
possible time and went to lean back on the wall. Expecting that curtain
to have some kind of door on the back of it, I leaned back as far as I
could maintain my balance. But that embarrassing evening the door behind
the curtain never arrived and I had to go all the way back till I could
see, first my plate coming on my hungry face and then my socks less
shoes arriving next. I had fallen in that cavity all the way till I
touched the floor like a back summersalt. For a moment I thought to run
away from the party through this cavity but when I heard people laughing
at the top of their amuzement, I also entered back in the scenario with
the clown like face with red strwberry nose and eyes full of white
cream. So this is one page from my old memoirs. Funny In't.

sent by jj
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Wednesday, April 21, 2004  -  6:48 PM Reply with quote
After the defeat of Pakistani cricket team to india in Lahore, the team members were not able to show their faces to people and they chose not to go in public and rather just pack up in hotel rooms.

Inzmam could not resist for too long to be in hometown and still not be able to go out shopping and have fun. So he disguises himself as a Sardar and goes out. he meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets him "Hi Inzmam !"

Surprised for having been caught he comes back and makes himself up as a muslim woman - in Burkha etc and goes out. Yet same again - the same woman greets him "Hi Inzmam!".

Inzmam comes back determined to give it yet another try with the make up of a Hippie wig and shorts etc. All in vain - the same lady catches him again and greets him "Hi Inzmam!".

Bewildered by now, he could not help asking, "How did you recongise me?"

The lady replied - "I am Shoaib Akhtar!"
(rcvd with thnx: from nashanas khan)
ibrahim

PAKISTAN
Posted - Tuesday, May 04, 2004  -  12:21 PM Reply with quote
HaHaHaHa

That's really a very very good joke. Tahnx a lot

Ibrahim
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Thursday, May 06, 2004  -  10:31 PM Reply with quote
welcome br
its my wish to see you all smiling, in this world and next, insha'Allah.
and dear all! pls see our newly added section "Smile a While" for more as well as for any of ur postings for this section. hope u all r enjoying the site and trying to benefit from the offered courses.
salamz/peace
dr.henna
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, May 22, 2004  -  12:59 PM Reply with quote
Are You Beautiful?

Top Ten Beauty Tips For 2004(and ever!)


Here’s to a more beautiful you!!!

1. FOR PERFECT LIPS : Try ‘Smiles’; A simple formula guaranteed to beautify any face instantly.


2. FOR FANTASTIC FRESH BREATH: Use ‘Speak Words of Truth and Kindness’ ; as this mouthwash never allows stale smells to linger.

3. FOR BEAUTIFUL EYES: can be achieved by Looking for The Good. This product also has a positive effect on the heart.

4. LOSE WEIGHT : by ‘Sharing your Burden,’ or ‘Letting Go’ Both these load shifters will reduce stress and leave you feeling considerably lighter.

5. FOR THE SOFTEST SKIN: can be achieved by ‘Tears’ used alongside ‘Prayer’, particularly late at night; it will leave you glowing and feeling relaxed.

6.FOR THE BEST LOOKING ARMS: Try ‘The Loving Hugs Exercise; used at least three times a day; it will tone up the bonds of love in your life.

7.AVOID HEART DISEASE:
by contacting the ‘Forgive Yourself and Others’, and ‘Counting Your Blessings’, Health Spas. No need to travel, just give them a call and they’ll treat you wherever you are. Their holistic treatments have a whole host of additional health benefits including stress busting.

8. FOR A BETTER POSTURE: Strengthen and straighten your back by using ’Help Carry Another’s Burden’; You’ll be surprised by how easy and natural it is to use.

9. FOR PERFECT POISE: Use ‘Knowledge and Wisdom’ (Studying Islam); This excellent product will do wonders for your self esteem and confidence, and will even boost your body’s defences.

10. FINALLY, TO DRESS THE BEAUTIFUL YOU : Find the ultimate outfit in, ‘Taqwa’, This robe perfectly fits yet allows room for growth, the true classic promises to never go out of style and is appropriate for any occasion.

Finish your new look with the sensational scent, ’Gratitude’, the heavenly perfume is available in the most beautiful containers–now !


Here’s to a more beautiful you!!!



(adapted from "Connection"--ISB news)

for more such smiles, see our "Smile a While" Forum
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Thursday, June 03, 2004  -  9:48 AM Reply with quote
ps
a new smile added to "Smile a While"
salmauk

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, June 05, 2004  -  7:06 AM Reply with quote
Salaam
hope ur all smiling.... i havn't had much input in the forum but insh'Allah shud be seeing more of me.. All remember me in your duas coz i have exams at the moment insh'Allah will be smiling with you all soon
wassalaam

Edited by: salmauk on Saturday, June 05, 2004 7:07 AM

Edited by: salmauk on Saturday, June 05, 2004 6:05 PM
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, June 05, 2004  -  10:11 AM Reply with quote
sure
will look fwd to seeing u
best wishes for your exam
will share the Abraham a.s.'s dua' i always read for exam
hasbun'Allah o wa nemal wakeel
Allah is enough for me, and the best guardian
besides hard work, a great helper in any kind of exam including the course exams @Studying Islam to keep one smiling insha'Allah

peace/assalamoalaykum
try2b

PAKISTAN
Posted - Saturday, June 05, 2004  -  10:35 AM Reply with quote
Assalaam-o-Alaikum
once a friend told me a joke. it goes like this:

there was a Chinese man living in Newyork. he did not know how to speak English. all he knew was a snatch of a little rhyme:
"my house is burnt
my house is burnt!"

once it happenned that his house actually caught fire. frantically, he rung up the fire department. not knowing anything else, he started singing:
"my house is burnt
my house is burnt!"

the man on the other end of the line replied, also singing:

"trala lala la
trala la lala"

and hung up the phone!!

actually, this joke can be enjoyed more if you listen to it.

ok, here's another one, just for change of taste. i found it on the 'reader's digest' site:

One day in artillery instruction, a colonel came to inspect our class. First up was Private O'Malley. The colonel got in his face and asked him what reading he had on his 105 mm. howitzer. "Two-nine-oh-seven, sir," was the reply. "Soldier," said the colonel, "don't you know you never say 'oh' in the artillery? You say 'zero.' What's your name, soldier?" "Zero Malley, sir," answered the private.

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