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Searching for a Spouse through Istikhara
Question asked by Anonymous.
Posted on: Friday, September 2, 2005 - Hits: 2051

Question:
i have got a question, these days I am searching for a girl to marry. The procedure I followed I first got Istikhara done on a particular girl, the Istikhara came out positive and the person (not my family member supposed to be a religious person) did the Istakara strongly recommended the girl, so my family decided to visit the girl’s house meet her and her family. The girl’s picture has been shared through email with me, somehow the girl did not clicked me through her appearance and my heart does not go with her.

It is very much a possibility I might not go for her, am I committing a sin not to follow Istikhara result? Does the positive Istikhara mean that she is the only suitable match available to me in this world?

Please advise me in detail through a 'reply' to this mail - I am really confused, your response should be strictly in person not to be posted to the net and for any sort of propogation, specifically, with my email or otherwise reference. I trust you.

I’ll appreciate if you could kindly respond me quickly.

Thanking in anticipation.

Answer:
Istikhara is nothing but to seek God’s counsel in a matter. However it does not mean that we expect God to be bound to counsel us, once we have offered the istikhara prayer. He only accepts our prayers when they happen to be in conformity with His grand schemes. We also do not expect Him to guide us in the clearest terms like through dreams etc. We again need to use our intellect and proceed as we see fit. We only expect God’s approval of such undertakings and His help. God has bestowed us with sense and reason and power to analyze the possibilities before us, and decide. These sources of Divine guidance are clear and manifest. Therefore, one should always first apply these means of Divine guidance in matters facing him.

The process through which you seem to believe that God guided you or expressed His approval is not absolutely reliable. You have to use your intellect and understanding and decide whether the girl suits you or not. You are not required to follow dreams etc. you have been given right to decided on a girl keeping in consideration the norms of the Shari'ah and the good conventions of the society. Therefore, following these things is not binding. You must consider the social and religious background, education and even looks of the prospective marriage partner before coming to a conclusion.

regards,

Tariq Mahmood Hashmi
Research Assistant, Studying Islam

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