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xxbasxx

UNITED KINGDOM
Topic initiated on Tuesday, February 10, 2004  -  5:06 AM Reply with quote
Love Affairs


This weekend, we receevd an email about luv affairs within islam. i was hoping tht ppl cud plz tel me wut they think abt relationships between GURLS and BOYS <img src=icon_smile_shy.gif border=0 align=middle> <img src=icon_smile_blush.gif border=0 align=middle> especialy in western countries as the presure on the yunger generation is at a max point :S frm peers and media.
the mail was very informativ but it wud b gr8 2 hv opinions as wel as islamic bak ground :D
thnk u :)
salams <img src=icon_smile_question.gif border=0 align=middle>
Jhangeer Hanif

PAKISTAN
Posted - Tuesday, February 10, 2004  -  12:35 PM Reply with quote

Every relationship that is not endorsed by the Islamic Shari'ah and our moral sense cannot be condoned.

It should be noted that the email meant not to endorse the prevailing concept of boyfriend and girlfriend. There are certain etiquette and manners to observe wherever an association exists, be that of brother and brother or son and mother. This specific email meant to delineate an outline of the manners and etiquette to observe where both sexes interact with each other in a scenario where marriage is an option available.

Another similar discussion has also been initiated earlier: please click to view:
http://www.studying-islam.org/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=271&FORUM_ID=1&CAT_ID=7&Topic_Title=Friendship+of+Male+and+Female+in+Islam&Forum_Title=General+Discussion

Jhangeer Hanif

PAKISTAN
Posted - Tuesday, February 10, 2004  -  12:40 PM Reply with quote

Since the thread I quoted above is not very long, I paste it here along with the question for easy retrieval:

quote:
What is the Islamic concept of friendship of male and female??? Taking care of Islamic limits, can a man and a woman have friendship relationship??? Now a day, especially in Universities and colleges, where there is co-education, male and female?s friendship is a common thing, does Islam allow this????



A lot depends on the connotation of this word 'friendship' and what they understand of the Islamic Limits.

Placing aside the word 'friendship',Islam enjoins both genders to obeserve some NORMS. Observing these NORMS, all men and women are allowed to interact with each other as and when necessitated by the circumstances let alone the students.

These etiquette have amply been explained in Surah Noor (24). Like having modesty in your gaze, covering your body well and not doing anything which distracts attention to evil thougts. Observing these etiquette, I would rightly use the words being Muslim Brother and Sister as contrast to being friends.

We must know that purity of heart is a precious ASSET of ours. We must never lose it at any cost. I personally do not feel aversion to principled communication yet all people should judge their circumstances keepin in view the objective of Innet Purification.

xxbasxx

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Friday, February 13, 2004  -  12:59 AM Reply with quote
that helps alot.
so is it halal 4 a mature relationship b4 the weding?
XxBasmahxX
xxbasxx

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Friday, February 13, 2004  -  4:32 AM Reply with quote
the real love affair
ive been tld tht the highest luv affair is the one with Allah.
"here is Allah
it is Allah
Luv 4 Allah
Romeo and Juliet
Layla and Majnoon
each of 1 cn mask the luv
coursing thru the veins of u and i
it fils up ur mind
fills up ur heart
wen all the other luvs hve gon
the luv of Allah willl keep strng
its the luv wich cnt go rong
tht tkes us up
so tht we cn go on.
here is Allah
Luv 4 Allah."
by khalid Mahmood album: Heaven
soundvision.
they've got other gud songs 2
www.soundvision.com
tweety

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Friday, February 13, 2004  -  4:47 AM Reply with quote
a luv afair can b with any thing frm a Gucci dress 2 a ferarri,stars, careers; luv can b 4 physical as wel as spiritual things.
We also hav luv 4 ppl we r close 2 but we shud alwayz kp da luv 4 our cre8r as da highest luv among all things(i think this is somewhere in da quran, surah Baqrah :S not sure tho)
ALTHOUGH THIS DNT MEAN WE CNT B NORMAL N HAV LUV 4 OTHA THINGS N PPL!
JST REMEMBA ALLAH 1ST!!!:D
Jhangeer Hanif

PAKISTAN
Posted - Friday, February 13, 2004  -  1:00 PM Reply with quote

that helps alot.
so is it halal 4 a mature relationship b4 the weding?
XxBasmahxX


This depends on the nature of relationship. Why to make a big issue of this? Of course, the relationship before wedding presuposes marriage intention. The befitting way is to bring it to the attention of the elders--the society. They themselves will lay reasonable restrictions on the extent of relationship after giving it some social recognition.

And, yes, the most beautiful relationship is with Allah.

xxbasxx

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, February 14, 2004  -  4:13 AM Reply with quote
thnx 4 ur gr8 advice!
i shal pass it on insha'Allah
wut do u think abt the pressure put on teens these days?
any tension releef?
we were hving routine sex education at skool wen a question propd up:
is it OK 4 a boy 2 tuch a girl's body as a jke?
i was lyk HELL NO!!! its disrespectful 2 women!! even as a jke!
then a female clas m8 walkd up2 me and sed (in such a RUDE manner!!!) 'UVE obviously never had urself tuchd?' and i had the same atitude
HELL NO
i tld her tht my scarf was 2 protect myself frm tht junk. her rude maner continued: 'its nt junk it feels nice'. she was a british non-muslim hus skirt was the length of my palm. nw wut? she (hu displayd her body with pleasure) had obviously been thru this particular fase of her lyf 'the joy of being tuchd by a boy'.
i felt so small (and thts nt gud if ure shrt alreddy lyk meeeeeeeeee!!)
and i need releef. i h8 this kind of peer presure abt immodesty!! ugh!!! and other things lyk the continuous adverts frm media: 7 kises every girl MUST hv. im nt lyk ANY gurl. i wont HAV a 'BREAK UP KISS' Insha'Allah- i wil comit my lyf 2 one man. INSHA'ALLAH
so heres all the presure layd acros my table. and i hv no idea hw 2 remove it.
help???
r there neways out there?
XxBasmahxX
Jhangeer Hanif

PAKISTAN
Posted - Saturday, February 14, 2004  -  11:40 AM Reply with quote
and i need releef. i h8 this kind of peer presure abt immodesty!! ugh!!! and other things lyk the continuous adverts frm media: 7 kises every girl MUST hv. im nt lyk ANY gurl. i wont HAV a 'BREAK UP KISS' Insha'Allah- i wil comit my lyf 2 one man. INSHA'ALLAH
so heres all the presure layd acros my table. and i hv no idea hw 2 remove it.
help???
r there neways out there?


New ways?

Hmm... I think all are old ways! But I would surely like to share with you your concerns.

What you have told me about the pressure is so terrible. I see that you are a brave person to face it all and maintain your stance. Actually, there is only one way to go through all this and, that is, to stick to what you feel right. You should know that you are the guardian of the moral precepts--moral concepts are what sometimes most detested. What we see in the lives of the Prophets is that they are even put to persecution. In reponse to their beautiful words, indecent and ungrateful people hurl stones on them; in response to their call to Paradise, people call them MAD and LUNATIC---an abnormal person in the society of sane people. What the Prophets do is that they stick to their message and stance. They do not bother what other people think abou them. That is the way you should hold on to your standing. That is great way to beat them! Isn't it?

I also have the following suggestions for you.

1. Get yourself some good friends in your school. Spend your time with them and do not come in the way of these bullies.

2. Try not to argue with these girls unless and until you find that they want to listen in a friendly manner. Why I say this is because you have logical grounds to present to them whereas they have nothing to offer except the vague sense of pleasure to offer to support their viewpoint. As you beat them in arguments, they will resort to fight. You need not indugle in any sort of skirmish. Okay?

3. Try to enjoy your life; sport; playing with your friends; visiting your relatives et cetera. This will eliminate the strain as you will feel good.

4. Try to discuss your concerns with someone close to as and when you feel like, your mother, sister, brother etc. Never block your fears and concerns. Lay them into open.

5.Of course, praying and spending in the way of Allah also helps. Both help us gain strength and courage.

And never forget: Allah has already blessed you and will continue to as you walk on His Way.

Bela

PAKISTAN
Posted - Sunday, February 15, 2004  -  1:03 AM Reply with quote
My God it was extremely tough to read what the lady wrote but I understood eventually...andbrother jhangeer u have come up with very nice suggestions !
tweety

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Sunday, February 15, 2004  -  2:32 PM Reply with quote
what is the crime that holds a death penalty to be stoned to death and is also part of the unforgivable sins? Is it adultry or somthing else?
Jhangeer Hanif

PAKISTAN
Posted - Monday, February 16, 2004  -  12:06 PM Reply with quote

There is no sin that is unforgivable. No matter how gross error a person has made, as he/she seeks refuge in Allah, they are forgiven instantly.

Stoning to death is not a punishment that has been prescribed by the Shari'ah, the Law of God. Actually, the Holy Qur'an says that anyone who is guilty of spreading disorder in land may be put to death in an exemplary manner. This extreme punishment is for those for who spread nuisance in the society and do not deserve any lenience. They will be killed in an exemplary manner; this is what the Holy Qur'an says (5:33-34). 'Stoning to death' is one type of exemplary punishment, which a court of law may decide to give to a criminal guilty of spreading nuisance.

Adultery is though a despicable crime, it does not fall under the heading 'spreading disorder in land'. However, if a group of people take on the prostitution business, it is like spreading evil in the society and thus amount to disorder. Anyhow, it is all up to the court of Law to determine what crime is analogous to spreading disorder and what is just an isolated crime.

xxbasxx

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Wednesday, February 18, 2004  -  3:27 AM Reply with quote
O ok thank u 4 ur help n tym
gd bless u
jazakallah
tweety
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, September 04, 2004  -  7:41 PM Reply with quote
regarding loving our Lord the most i think what else helps is that if one knows that He is the Creator of his beloved, he will love Him/ the Creator spontaneously
'cause indeed the one Who made his beloved so attractive and charmin to b loved wud be far more beautiful n attractive than him.
tweety

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Thursday, September 23, 2004  -  10:12 PM Reply with quote
er lady?
ur a little out dated here..
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Friday, September 24, 2004  -  11:10 AM Reply with quote
thnx dear but i thought love is never outdated if the Beloved is Eternal. (pls don't count me among sufis)

and for that matter the relationships we build with each other on this basis as well are never outdated; rather such people will be in the shade of Almighty on the day of Judgement when everyone would be distressed with the heat of the Day.

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