Powered by UITechs
Get password? Username Password
1 2
Next page >>
Page 1 of 2

  Reply to Topic    Printer Friendly 


Topic initiated on Tuesday, December 28, 2004  -  11:21 AM Reply with quote
Religious People: Why so Stone-Hearted?

I am trying to make sense out of a feature I've found in almost every religious person I have ever come close to. They are genuinely God-fearing people, but when it comes to dealing with others, it doesn't take them much time to sever ties and/or create artificial distances. Just seems to happen in a snap for them. Stone-hearted they are, I feel, very stone-hearted, at times. And its always the "religious people". Why so? Any observations?

Posted - Tuesday, December 28, 2004  -  7:37 PM Reply with quote
Because they look at the rituals as an end in themselves. The ultimate objective being purification of the soul which is achieved through a combination of prayer, secret charity, and above all loving one another.

Muslims cannot think beyond the box. They want a set of rules by which they want to live their life, any amibiguity or difference is detested. They have become like robots. In this regard they are no different from the Jews at the time of Jesus. That is why Jesus came to remind them, its not all about the law but love as well.

I have mentioned it elsewhere as well, Muslims violate the basic command of Jesus 'Love one another'. Trust me even religious scholars are guilty of violating this command.

On the contrary, many non-religious people are some of the best I have met, and I rather asscoiate myself with them than our so called religious guides. As an instance I present the following email from a non-religious friend of mine:

Hi Junaid,

We were watching the coverage of the disaster in South-east Asia, and it is
very sad. I see that it hit India and 10 other countries, and it doesn't
appear that it went as far as Pakistan, but we want to tell you that we hope
your family is OK. We are praying for everyone.


Edited by: junaidj on Tuesday, December 28, 2004 7:39 PM

Posted - Tuesday, December 28, 2004  -  8:21 PM Reply with quote
You're right. There is probably a greater sense of rigidity in "religious" people today, than in non-religious ones. Its sad.

I have often found them saying, "...if you can't understand this, then I can't do much about it. Good luck"; or more recently, since I am on the verge of losing a religious person who has been more than just a brother/a father to me, all I see happening are attempts to keep me somehow, so that I can do good Islamic work and learn. Truth is, it hurts everytime this is said. Learn I want to. Yes I do. There are a million avenues for that. But you don't get to make confidantes and friends every other day. Its so easy for them to overpass every feeling and emotion I have, and just concentrate on getting the 'work of God' done. It hurts very bad. I know no non-religious friend of mine could ever do something like that to me.

But I don't totally blame these people. The 'work of God' is probably the closest thing to them. Probably, working to keep your relationships with people alive is either absent on their list of priorities or somewhere in the rubble beneath everything else.

One of my best friends - my cousin - called me up a couple of days back and said, "Saadia, I have good news. I just called my parents, and you're the second person I'm calling. I wanted to share with you that I am a Muslim once more. Its amazing!" I was thrilled for him. Yes, I was. But whatever's been going on at the other spectrum of my life, makes me plead over and over to my Lord, "Let him be religious, but also, please let him remain the wonderful person that he is to others. Please don't let that change."

Posted - Tuesday, December 28, 2004  -  8:24 PM Reply with quote
Also, why must we always have a trade-off between "Huqooq Allah" and "Huqooq al-Ibaad"? Why are there so few people who merge the two just the right amount?

Posted - Tuesday, December 28, 2004  -  11:41 PM Reply with quote
>>The 'work of God' is probably the closest thing to them.

Then perhaps they SHOULD (I dont like this word :) understand that how can they profess love of God without love of mankind. Else there are many Sufis who lay claim to higher stations of morality?

You might be nauseatingly aware of the Yann Martel quote from Life of Pi, I keep on inserting in my posts. For me it sums it up quite well.

For me any person who sports a long beard and recites the Koran but is oblivious of his duties toward mankind is not worthy of any acknowledgement.

If a person is devoid of basic human decency, common sense and rationale then God help such a person. For our faith is based on reason and love intertwined.

It is no feat to be able to insert Hadith from here and there and profess one knows the secrets of the Heavens and the Earth.

We have to be inspired by the Companions and follow in their lofty footsteps, not imitate exactly what they did. There is a subtle difference.

>>Abu Bakr used to free slaves without any hope of return, without religious discrimination

How many religious people seem to be able to help non-Muslims out today?

>> Uthman would buy camels and wells for all Muslims

How many Muslims will do this, without raising the question that so and so is Barelwi, Deobandi, Qadiani and what not?

>>Umar would step up and speak his mind before the Prophet

How many people bear witness to the truth, use their common sense, and logic as opposed to blind parroting of hadith, without any regard for the underlying principles of the Shariah. Would this not in itself constitute a sin. To follow what is convenient, because one would not have to use one's head?

>>Abu Bakr was filled with so much love that he would not hesitate from the greatest of sacrifice.

Are there any muslims there who would help charities on cancer/schools without raising ten million questions on Zakat et al?

Why must all good work come from pop singers, cricketers, human right groups et al. Why not the clergy? Why not the blatant loudspeakers?

Who speaks up against tyranny against women, has any religious leader stepped in to help out women gang raped, domestically abused, or even men wrongfully abused in prisons?

The whole emphasis of the clergy is on
1) Blasphemy
2) Sex
3) Sex again.

That is the extent of their mental prowess.

Posted - Wednesday, December 29, 2004  -  6:54 PM Reply with quote
Two main reasons those I believe are behind this ‘Stone-Hearted’ attitude.

First is that they are usually not familiar with the true reality of life in terms of human behaviour or psychology. People who are very down to earth tend to tolerate others who are trapped in the same situation i.e. empathy, without any problem.

Second, I also believe, it is also about the incorrect understanding of the Ahadith literature that makes them harsh.

One need to understand people why are they the way they are. Since these so called ‘Stone-Hearted’ people never came across the same situations in their life; so they have their own preconceived notions about the situations others people go through. The right example is the intolerant attitude of every older generation to the younger one.

People who usually become religious at later stage of their lives are more humble than those are from the beginning. The reason is that the later have been more informed about the reality than former, which leads to more empathy.

Posted - Wednesday, December 29, 2004  -  8:22 PM Reply with quote
>>People who usually become religious at later stage of their lives are more humble than those are from the beginning.

I'll just qualify this statement, with the example of George Bush as a born again Christian.

Posted - Thursday, December 30, 2004  -  5:39 AM Reply with quote
By looking at the comments on this forum, one can easily feel that you all are trying to become very "religious"

Posted - Thursday, December 30, 2004  -  6:27 AM Reply with quote
Thank you for your 'brilliant' insight. You are most kind.

Posted - Thursday, December 30, 2004  -  9:25 PM Reply with quote
i dno hu sed this...but sum1 sed sumthin along the lines of 'God make the religious people gud and the gud ppl religious'
its a pretty true statement...and i gess u cnt really b religious until ur gud 2wards ppl; otherwise ur jst not religious r u? wel islamically neways...cuz being warm and friendly is a big part of deen...and a gr8 way of portraying islam
even a smile is charity

Posted - Friday, December 31, 2004  -  2:02 AM Reply with quote
Moderator has come across religious people who happen to be stone-hearted.
Well, non-religious people can be stone-hearted as well. People have strengths and flaws and as long as they are trying to be better persons fi sabilillahi and not monopolizing on state of their flaws. I think true friends and family can point out the irrationality of their extreme attitude and through wisdom make them understand the positive and negative points.
On a personal note, I dislike people (stone-hearted is too strong a word) who are injust and unfair towards others and are slick enough to shore up an audience who will buttress their unfair ways. I sure would be open to anyone who can convince me how to walk a middle ground without conceding to corrupt thinking people.

Posted - Friday, December 31, 2004  -  3:13 AM Reply with quote
>>Well, non-religious people can be stone-hearted as well.

Fair enough! But when many many religious people are of such a disposition then that really makes one wonder, what were the objectives of faith and what have the religious people turned out to be?

also, no one is defending stone-hearted non-religious persons here.

and when I speak, I can for sure assure you that all of us here are trying to follow the true faith of God. So lets keep that in the background. Else, we would not have been lurking on this website :)

>>On a personal note, I dislike people (stone-hearted is too strong a word) who are injust and unfair towards others and are slick enough to shore up an audience who will buttress their unfair ways. I sure would be open to anyone who can convince me how to walk a middle ground without conceding to corrupt thinking people.

and who might the slick and corrupt people be? Please elaborate.

I don't suppose anyone here is shoring people here on the merits of adultery or wine and merry making. If so do let us know, and we'll fix such elements :)

Edited by: junaidj on Friday, December 31, 2004 3:17 AM

Posted - Sunday, January 2, 2005  -  5:44 AM Reply with quote
Assalam alaikum,

I have a question regarding this topic. Consider this and please say what you would do.

You are a religious person, no doubt about it. You always do all your 5 prayers. But today you got up a little late and are just about to miss your fajr prayer. So you quickly wash up and are almost ready to say takbir and begin. The bell rings and at the intercom is your friend asking you to open the apartment complex gate, it is locked (broken) and someone has to come down to open it. It is also raining and he is getting wet and cold out there.

Do you tell him to wait while you finish your prayer as you are about to miss it?

Or do you leave the prayer and go downstairs and walk all the way to the gate to open it for him. You will surely miss your fajr prayer if you go.

I was in a situation like this but I was the one at the gate.

Posted - Sunday, January 2, 2005  -  8:31 AM Reply with quote
My answer would be the same, as in the following scenario:

I am just about to miss a prayer, and as I stand to say the 'takbir', someone's being chased by a hitman, and somehow, I'm the only person who can save him/her.

I'll go and save the person before offering my prayers.

Although the gravity of the situation is greater here, one point stands in common: the prayer due to Allah.

The Prophet (sws) is known to have joined prayers (though this is not to be made a habit or encouraged), when fearing missing out on one under certain situations (and I donot mean jihaad/qitaal here).

I think in your situation, the person could have walked down to the door during his salaat, and quietly opened the door and returned.

Posted - Sunday, January 2, 2005  -  8:32 AM Reply with quote
But what does this have to do with 'religious people being stone-hearted'?

Posted - Monday, January 3, 2005  -  2:21 AM Reply with quote
and who might the slick and corrupt people be? Please elaborate.

Slick and corrupt people are those who seem to turn the right into wrong and wrong into right, and are able to convince some of the people of their thinking.
I was not referring to anyone on this forum but to my interactions with certain people who think as long as injustice is not directed their way it is ok to have relations with the unjust person, who in turn has been able to convince these people that he/she is not unjust but that is the way of life.
Ya, ya, I know I cannot change everyone out there but it makes me soooooo angry to see people taking advantage or opressing others and people just carry on their lives because they don't want conflict.

Reply to Topic    Printer Friendly
Jump To:

1 2
Next page >>
Page 1 of 2

Share |

Copyright Studying-Islam © 2003-7  | Privacy Policy  | Code of Conduct  | An Affiliate of Al-Mawrid Institute of Islamic Sciences ®

eXTReMe Tracker