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Siddiq Bukhary
Moderator

PAKISTAN
Topic initiated on Saturday, September 09, 2006  -  9:34 AM Reply with quote
Module 1: Disobedience and parents


When do the childern have the right to disobey the parents?
saba2

PAKISTAN
Posted - Sunday, September 13, 2009  -  6:17 AM Reply with quote
well can you please be more specific about the age of children.
ibrahim

PAKISTAN
Posted - Tuesday, September 15, 2009  -  7:41 AM Reply with quote
of course Adult & Mature children.
saba2

PAKISTAN
Posted - Tuesday, September 15, 2009  -  1:52 PM Reply with quote
If they are adult and mature then their is no question of disobedience is there? They are free to make their own choices which can also differ from their parents.I feel there is a very thin line between disobedience and making different choices.
I think teenagers who can distinguish between right from wrong may come under the catagory of being disobedient adult and mature children cannot come under the category of being disobedient.
A child can be disobedient when he is being asked to do what is considered gunnah or wrong in Islam and when he feels physically threatened
sexually.
ibrahim

PAKISTAN
Posted - Wednesday, September 16, 2009  -  6:54 AM Reply with quote
Well, we are bound to follow parents (& all others too) in the limits of Islam. So such disobedience has no value.
You ar right that there may be a very thin line between the two but one can still differantiate. I give you an example:
Parents want to marry a child at one place but he/she want to amrry at another. This is a choice difference. However when they ask the child to do any useful thing that he/she must do OR ask not to do a harmful thing that he/she must avoid then this will surely be a disobedience. for example two mature kids are fighting with eachother (may be verbally) & when a parent ask them to stop. If they do not, they are disobeying.
I hope I'm able to clear the point. Morover you as a senior MOM can yourself give many examples of both cases. Don't You? It'll need just a deep thinking.
saba2

PAKISTAN
Posted - Friday, September 18, 2009  -  7:00 PM Reply with quote
So in The eyes of Allah disobedience is allowed when there is Shirk committed and parents expect the Children to join in or be a part of it. Is going to shrines and peers and asking them of favors from God considered Shirk?
The example you gave of choice differences is the one parents have the most difficulty excepting. You hear all sorts of stories and maximum blackmail when it comes to marriage of choice
“Moreover you as a senior MOM” how can u tell if I am a senior mom? Hmm I like it, it gives me a lot of clout.
saba2

PAKISTAN
Posted - Friday, September 25, 2009  -  2:36 PM Reply with quote
can some one please answer the question

Edited by: saba2 on Friday, September 25, 2009 2:36 PM
ibrahim

PAKISTAN
Posted - Saturday, September 26, 2009  -  11:25 AM Reply with quote
your described act is a shirk act but one may not be doing it as a shirk. That's a big difference.
In Marriage case Parents shud have the courage to accept the choice of their kids in case of no settelment between them just bcoz kids have been given the last right to choose their life partner. we as a parent can only try our best to guide them the best & in the best possible way.
well u r a senior MOM & I can tell you some more about you just bcoz I'm part of the team of this site.
saba2

PAKISTAN
Posted - Sunday, September 27, 2009  -  8:38 AM Reply with quote
"your described act is a shirk act but one may not be doing it as a shirk. That's a big difference."
Please can you elaborate on this.
What you know is by my profile so now you have na upper edge, because I donot remember what I put in.Oh don't get me wrong I would not put in anything which is wrong but maybe withheld some information.
ibrahim

PAKISTAN
Posted - Tuesday, September 29, 2009  -  6:39 AM Reply with quote
no problem mam! u've all the rights

I juct wanna say that doing shirk knowingly & doint it unknowingly has a big difference in the outcome of a same act. 1st will be punished & 2nd have the chance to get the Maghfirat from the Lord
saba2

PAKISTAN
Posted - Wednesday, September 30, 2009  -  6:13 PM Reply with quote
Thank you
ibrahim

PAKISTAN
Posted - Thursday, October 01, 2009  -  8:35 AM Reply with quote
u r always most welcome
samra

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Monday, May 17, 2010  -  6:38 PM Reply with quote
Section I: Directives related to some Blood Relatives
i. Parents
We enjoined man to show kindness to his parents, for with much pain his mother bears him and he is not weaned before he is two years of age. We said: ‘Give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me shall all things return. But if they press you to serve besides Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. Remain kind to them in this world, and turn to Me with all devotion. To Me you shall all return, and I will declare to you everything you have done’. (31:14-15)
All divine scriptures instruct man to show kindness to the parents. Various verses of the Qur’an also direct the believers to be well-behaved to the parents1. The above quoted verses however specifically determine the limits of good behaviour with the parents. The details of this directive as stated in these verses are:
1. It is the parents who bring into existence a new life and become the means to nourish it. No doubt, the care and affection of the father is quite a lot, however the hardships a mother encounters in bringing up the child starting from her pregnancy, to childbirth and then breast feeding the child are unmatched and no child can repay her for this great service. On these very grounds, the Prophet (sws) has regarded the right of the mother as three times that of the father.2 Consequently, the Almighty exhorts man to be the most grateful to his parents after his Lord. This gratitude must not be expressed merely by the tongue. It should manifest in good behaviour towards them. He should respect them and never become fed up of them. He must not utter a single word of disrespect to them. Instead, he should be soft, sympathetic, loving and obedient to them. He should listen to them and be caring and affectionate to them in the tenderness of old age. The Qur’an says:
Your Lord has enjoined you to worship none but Him, and to show kindness to your parents, If either or both of them attain old age in your presence, show them no sign of impatience, nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and say: ‘Lord, be merciful to them the way they nursed me when I was an infant’. Your Lord best knows what is in your hearts. If you remain obedient, He will forgive those that turn to Him. (17:23-25)

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