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xxbasxx

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Friday, February 13, 2004  -  4:23 AM Reply with quote
ok im kinda angy again so im bk 4 mre advice.
wud sticking ur hed in cld water work?
i no it sounds crazy....
wut abt eating?
help...?
XxBasmahxX
ihsan

USA
Posted - Friday, February 13, 2004  -  10:04 PM Reply with quote
Does anyone have an opinion regarding the common motton regarding anger and other emotions: "Let it all out"? How does one feel as to this philsophy in regards to Islam?

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xxbasxx

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, February 14, 2004  -  5:11 AM Reply with quote
let it all out...
the words f**k and s**t com 2 mind (sory if i ofended ne 1 here)
ofcourse, insults r our source of anger releefin a tym of anger
in my opinion
but 2 diverrt urself frm tht stuf is sooooo controld and it wud b sooooo cul if i cud do tht!!
XxBasmahxX
Jhangeer Hanif

PAKISTAN
Posted - Saturday, February 14, 2004  -  12:16 PM Reply with quote

Let it all out!

What I understood from BAS quoting two words is that we should not let it all out in an appropriate manner. Of course, we should never cuss to let it all out.

Equally, we should not bottle up our emotions. We must devise ways to express what we feel in an appropriate manner.

try2b

PAKISTAN
Posted - Thursday, June 03, 2004  -  3:39 AM Reply with quote
Assalaam-o-Alaikum
Islam teaches us not to eliminate our strong emotions, but to channel them towards the right direction. as in anger, the anger should be on things that are against Islam. and at things that are stupid and evil. but then again, one can get angry at almost everything under the sun. sticking ones head in cold water would be,... umm, wouldn't it be a hassle? you would have to keep a 'cold-water-for-dunking-head' device handy for use.

when i get angry, i can't speak. its not only that i dont want to, i find that i lose my speech powers in those moments. after a while, i go to the person who angered me and say..." what the heck was all that about?" and point out why i behaved in such and such manner, and why i found the person's such and such behavior provoking. the matter should, and must be resolved in a confrontation. it might happen that a misunderstanding has arisen. it's a real nice feeling when things are cleared up. . when the situation seems out of control, pray to Allah. Talk to Allah. tell Him all your woes and troubles and ask for guidance, forgiveness, and help. InshaAllah, you will get it.
suecornish

USA
Posted - Sunday, June 06, 2004  -  3:08 AM Reply with quote
I think anger comes from lack of control. One's lack of control over others and lack of control over oneself. If you realize that you can't have control over anyone but yourself then others will not make you angry. When you learn to control yourself, then you will not make yourself angry. The Quakers have a saying "Whatever harm you do to me is my fault." To allow someone or something else to have the power to make you angry is to turn over control of your life to others and this you should not do. The only one we need to have control and power over is ourselves. It is one's jihad to control oneself.
ruqayyah

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Sunday, June 06, 2004  -  4:22 PM Reply with quote
I think the best way is to ignore the person you are angry with and this will make them more annoyed.
suecornish

USA
Posted - Sunday, June 06, 2004  -  9:11 PM Reply with quote
I found the best way is to deal politely and with a smile with those type of people. This way they spend most of their time trying to figure out what I am up to instead of trying to pull my strings.
surgeonakhlaq

PAKISTAN
Posted - Monday, October 11, 2004  -  9:28 PM Reply with quote
Assalaamu’alaikum,
This article deals not only with an ordinary but also all types of anger. Do know about this very important expression. It may help those who need, Insha’allah
Anger is involuntary and unlike laughter it is one of the expressions showing internal state of unsatisfaction or unhappiness. The extreme may lead to weeping and unfortunately suicide also. Anger in not always abnormal but is normal within the psychological limits (norms) and abnormal beyond the limits. The anger is labelled an abnormal only when the sensible people around will notify the behaviour that is not acceptable according to the circumstances otherwise it is considered as normal.
The common cause of anger due to some negligible circumstances, is some complex, usually an inferiority complex or frustration, for which the individual tries to compensate reflexly (involuntarily) to overcome. It is not essential that the anger is always related to the situation of that complex. Sometimes the anger is one of the features of some underlying psychiatric disorder like sever anxiety, depression, psychotic disorders and some organic diseases like, all most all the chronic and some acute illnesses also.
The after effects of anger are tiredness, weakness, impaired memory, intelligence, concentration and lack of confidence, skin changes affecting the freshness, sunken eyes with blackening around, gastrointestinal disturbances, sexual disturbances, high blood pressure leading to heart attack, heart failure, renal/kidney failure, visual disturbances, paralysis and many other serious complications. So anger does affect every part of the body from head to toe. The social effects vary from a small disliking to, being behind the bars. Our religion condemns anger strictly and does want us to be sick physically, mentally as well as socially.
It must be remembered that main factor in promotion of Islam is the only one that is “control of anger” e.g. Holy Prophet, Muhammad (peace be upon him) was abused, hurt, dirty material was thrown on him but he had No anger at all, the enemy of Hazrat Ali (Ra) spat on his face but he too had No anger. There are many other similar examples. This great greatness was “No anger” due to which “Kuffar” could not control themselves and joined Islam and became great too to such an extent that some of them were given the certificate of paradise in their lives, Allah-ho-Akbar.
The normal anger can be only be controlled effectively by adapting the different Quranic verses like 2-Baqra, 112, 152, 153,177 and 39-Zumur, 10 and Ahadith like “ Among you, brave is one who controls one’s anger” because the external environment will be beautiful only when the internal environment is so. There is no such remedy other than Quran and Ahadith, which can effectively change the internal environment. The other methods are self-control, to be busy in some light work and specially use of plenty of fluids to wash the metabolites of the neurotransmitters responsible for anger. It must be remembered that always avoid to take the fluids, solids or gases, which are brain stimulants like strong tea, coffee, pepsi, coca-cola, smoking and appetite/hunger suppressants etc. It must be remembered that a non-smoker, near a smoker is equally rather more affected in the short term because one has no adaptation to withstand and a small dose of the smoke (nicotine) in a non-smoker may cause the same consequences as the heavy dose in the smoker. On the other hand God as well as His people dislike foul smell from the mouth of the smoker and this may add more to aggravate the anger. Therefore Holy Prophet, Muhammad (peace be upon him) had forbidden the person, having eaten a raw onion, to mosque and I think that when this order is for a “Halal” thing then what about the smoking which is a bad thing? In contrast, application of fragrance has the apposite effects i.e. beneficial effects on anger and we are ordered to do so specially at the places of gathering e.g. mosques. Try to avoid the places having the bad effect on anger and all those places, which seem to alleviate the anger but forbidden by Islam. So “Anger must not be treated at the cost of anger of God”.
In case of abnormal anger there are other feature also which help to reach the diagnosis. This type of anger needs psychotherapy as mentioned above as well as the drug treatment under the supervision of the psychiatrist. It must be remembered that depression and anxiety are two different conditions. It is very important to differentiate between these two because the treatment is entirely different e.g. in a case of depression if the treatment of anxiety is given, the depression will become worse hence resulting in aggravation of the anger, if present.
In case of the acute or chronic physical diseases, the relevant practitioner/specialist must be consulted.
It must be remembered that what ever is the cause, anger can only be effectively treated in addition, by removing the cause otherwise it may lead a lot of disturbances throughout the life and the possibilities of any misfortune can not be excluded.
It must also be remembered again that the angry person must not be handled in the same way and a piece of pity may reverse to all the satisfaction and happiness otherwise the person must never be relied and left alone to avoid some unfavourable incidence. It is an emergency, which may need some sort of help.
Why an angry person must be taken as serious? It is explained that as much as the consequences might be serious and repenting although having a very low incidence, the care or the preventive measures are strict as much e.g. if some one is dead sure that the snake is dead even then, it’s one’s folly to go near that because the assessment may be wrong resulting in even one’s death. Now there will be no more than to cry over the spilt milk.
No doubt, all attributes are to God but we have been ordered to struggle and leaving the results to God. The compliance is mandatory. Therefore it is said, “God helps those who help themselves”.
May Allah help and forgive us, Aameen!
Dr. Akhlaq

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