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shafinaz

MALAYSIA
Topic initiated on Friday, September 23, 2005  -  5:46 AM Reply with quote
Taking about other's faults.


When you want to mention your companion's faults, remember your own faults - Ibn Abbas (radiAllahu anhu)

I hope to seek explanation on this quotation. Does it mean that we should not or do not the right to comment on others on the things that they do? I often find (whenever I was able to catch myself) that it is difficult to point out someone's mistake when I think of the mistakes that I have. But then are we not supposed to guide one another. I know I am far from perfect but there are times when I think that I do have the right to comments on any thing that is not right as done by others. Please enlighten me on this.
oosman

USA
Posted - Friday, September 23, 2005  -  1:43 PM Reply with quote
Famous Muslim imams used to point out faults of others indirectly. For e.g. if someone has bad breath and does not wash his mouth before entering masjid, I would say to the whole group of people, which would include that person, to wash their mouths because otherwise it stinks. This way I do not point out the offender, but get the message across.
shafinaz

MALAYSIA
Posted - Saturday, September 24, 2005  -  3:00 AM Reply with quote
Okay..then what about it only involves two persons (me and the other one)..do have the right to say it to the person and also, I have not the intention to offend the person. Such a delicate matter this is.
Nauman

PAKISTAN
Posted - Saturday, September 24, 2005  -  12:51 PM Reply with quote
Your quoted reference “When you want to mention your companion's faults, remember your own faults- Ibn Abbas (radiAllahu anhu)”; I believe it indicates pinpointing faults in others. It is referring to a negative attitude toward the other person.

Obviously only you know that person well. There is always a decent way of conveying anything to the other person. You must also be knowing the limit of condemnation that person can take. A person with positive attitude must have no problem in accepting his/her fault.

I wonder why that person is still not aware of his/her fault.
oosman

USA
Posted - Saturday, September 24, 2005  -  4:04 PM Reply with quote
If it is just one person, and a friend of yours - then it is your duty to point out his/her fault. At the same time you should not point it out directly as that would offend this person. The best way is to point it out indirectly.

If you cannot do it by saying to a group of people collectively what you want said to your friend, then you should speak like: So and so person did this or does this and this caused problem with his/her friend. Speak indirectly alluding to the problem without saying who specifically you are talking about. May be you can make up a fake person for this purpose and use that person's name.

This would be the diplomatic way to get your point across without offending that person. If your friend is not smart enough to understand, then be patient.

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