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Sabihah

SOUTH AFRICA
Topic initiated on Wednesday, February 09, 2005  -  10:10 AM Reply with quote
Bringing friend home?


Assalamu alaykum

I work during the day. Recently I went home during lunch to pick something up I forgot. A friend from work went with me. She walked into our flat with me.

Later on my mother-in-law complained and said this friend of mine should have knocked even if she entered with me.

Is this really necessary?
atifrafi

PAKISTAN
Posted - Wednesday, February 09, 2005  -  1:27 PM Reply with quote
Walaikum Assalam,

I think to some extent your mother in law is right. I see knocking at the door as a method to inform the house members that someone else wants to enter and asking for the permission.

The point is why anyone needs this permission, what I think, someone may be is in some position where he/she does not like to come in front of anyone else. Knocking at the door provides him/her the time. May be someone wants to cover her face/head.... ( thats just an example )

Now, as you are the family member. Rules for you are obviously different. May be your husband (assuming you are female ) does not wants to come in front of anyone in shorts or without shirt but he can come in front of you in that state.

May be, your friend should have waited outside for a while and once you are sure that everything is fine inside house, you can call her inside then.

This is only my personal view and I am not explaining any rule of Shariah, which I don't think I am in position to do so. So, its not necessary for you to agree with all this.

I hope I have made my point clear.
Jhangeer Hanif
Moderator

PAKISTAN
Posted - Wednesday, February 09, 2005  -  5:39 PM Reply with quote
What I see is that your mother in law must have felt uncomfortable to see the guest barge in unexpectedly. To find one of our family members come home at a some unepected moment is but little problem.

However, to meet a guest when we have not been given some time to prepare yourself causes us some irritation. Knocking at the door is to actually allow the residents to prepare themselves for the prospective guest.
Sabihah

SOUTH AFRICA
Posted - Thursday, February 10, 2005  -  7:21 AM Reply with quote
Assalamu alaykum

Shukran for your comments.

I would have accepted it as such if it wasn't that she doesn't request my husband's friends to do the same. It has happened several times that I was wearing PJs and then he brings friends home without warning.

Wa salaam
Jhangeer Hanif
Moderator

PAKISTAN
Posted - Saturday, February 12, 2005  -  4:18 PM Reply with quote
You are right. We usually relate our actions and decisions to what is already in practice.

However, I would suggest that sometimes we need to gauge others' actions too whether they are morally and socially appropriate. If they are not, we can advise them too to mend their ways. I mean instead of following suit, we need to remain in the right side and ask others (our friends, husband, wives and relatives) to correct their behaviour.
Ibrahimblicksjo

SWEDEN
Posted - Tuesday, March 28, 2006  -  11:36 AM Reply with quote
Salaamu Alaikom wa Rahmatullah.
I think the best should have been if you informed your mother-in-law that you had a friend with you.Since you brought a friend (guest) then that is your responsibility. Because you have to try not to make any of the parties uncomfortable, not your mother-in-law (becaue someone she did not expect came) nor your friend.
YusufAbdulWahab

USA
Posted - Sunday, August 30, 2009  -  5:32 PM Reply with quote
As-Salaamu Alaikum,
I think that if either you or your husbands friends come home with either of you, out of respect for each other as well as others of the family. your friends should wait outside for the approval to enter.
ibrahim
Moderator

PAKISTAN
Posted - Wednesday, September 02, 2009  -  6:34 AM Reply with quote
wa alaikum us salaam

Quran has demanded from us to take permission before entering to anyone's house (for details see Surah noor 24:27-29) But in the above case a friend, who was a lady, was coming in with a person of that house, so she has her permission with herself. However Quran has also told us that it is better to Say Salam to the people of house where one is living while one enters from outside (24:61). Actually, the Salam is a miled permission in itself as this way one informs the people at home that one has come back now. Therefore the demand of that old lady was not totally wrong.
However That husband must inform his wife & other ladies at home before bringing in his friends. That is compulsory.

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