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hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Topic initiated on Thursday, November 18, 2004  -  12:11 AM Reply with quote
Query for Psychologists and Physicians@ STIslam


Sallam Alikum

My name is ----------you may remember me i had come to with ----------and you had given me leaflets about the islamic web site (http:\\studying-islam.org). I have recommended this site to many of my friends and relatives.

At the moment my wife's health is not good. She constantly faints for couple of hours every day. she also talks while she is fainted. Her mother and father think she has got a jinn and also many of my other relatives think this also. The family thinks that she may have a jinn because when she faints she spoke saying that I am going to split up with her husband and make trouble in families and make sure she leaves. At the moment there are lot of family problems due to her taqleef. All this started when she had her miscarriage.

Her family has taken her to -------- and took her to some people that deal with jinn and witchcraft. They said that she has got Jaddoo (Black Magic) so that she leaves her husband and cause lot of trouble in families and families break up. They also took her to a doctor he said she has epilepsy.
Doctor stated to the mother that there is not one type of epilepsy but thirty types of epilepsy.

I really think she may have a medical problem such as a psychological problem. I am saying this because she has gone through a lot especially when she had her miscarriage. I have always been there to support her and talked to her and helped her to get through this upsetting matter. She has her family to support her and me.

When i take her to doctors she faints and the doctors do not understand why this maybe happening. I spoke to her GP he said she may be suffering from the fact she had a miscarriage and he named me couple of illnesses that some women go through after their miscarriage. I am unable to take her to Doctors because she faints and her parents believe that she does not have a medical problem.

Can you please help me with this matter, as you are a doctor you may be able to help her or can you suggest anything. I have made a doctors appointment and can you suggest what i can ask the doctor.

Thank you very much for your time for reading this email.

K.
waseem

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Thursday, November 18, 2004  -  6:55 AM Reply with quote
Assallamu Alaykum.
I am not a physician or a psychologist but a GP. The symptoms described to me suggest a psychological cause.Epilepsy does not present with fainting for a couple of hours and people do not continue to speak during these episodes.From what you have described it may be an acute stressful rection to a difficult miscarrige.
You need to ask your gp if she could be referred to see a psychiatrist and also for stress and bereavement counselling.She may also benefit from some calming and mood elevating medications.
Please remember ! she is going through a difficult period and what you are seeing and hearing is not a true reflection of her feelings towards you but a cry for help. So dod not take things on face value.
As a true Muslim also make lots of prayers and salaat.asking for Allah's help.
May Allah make this difficult test in your life easy.
kind regards
nesrine

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Thursday, November 18, 2004  -  8:06 PM Reply with quote
I also Believe it is Psychological, as there isn't any proof of it being epilepsy. Like u kindly mentioned, fainting many times like this isn't really a feature of the well known 3 ypes of epilepsy. Better take her to a specialist, and a female would be more benificial to show more sympathy about the last miscarriage.
May Allah help u find a solution inshaaAllah.
Nesrine
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, November 20, 2004  -  2:46 AM Reply with quote
many thnx/jazakumullah dear Dr. Waseem and Dr. Nesreen for your precious time. May Allah bless your skills further and reward you the most.
I think we need Islamic scholar's opinion now, but if you wish to add something plz do.
regards

Sallam Alikum
Date: 19/11/2004 21:53:55 GMT Standard Time
From: @hotmail.com
Reply To:
To: hkhan135@aol.com
CC:
BCC:
Sent on:


Sent from the Internet (Details)
Internet Address Card Attached


Sallam Alikum

Thank you very much for help I appreciate it. I am so glad you did give me those leaflets it is a nice website.
--------is still the same. masallah she is praying 5 times a day and regulay reading quran and making duas regularly every day. she usually faints at night now, she is at her mother house where she prefers to be. I will give her sallams to her from you.

Sister Henna i very much appreciate that you are helping me, i thank you very much and may allah swt reward you for this.

I do not mind if you talk to other people about this.

Anyways Sis Henna I did make a doctors appointment for my wife she was going along with it but the day before the appointment she refused to go. She is so convinced she has and her parents and other relatives that she has got a Jinn. She explained to me why she is so convinced she has got a jinn. Sister Henna me and my mother I tried convincing my wife and her family that just let her see a doctor just to be sure that she has not got a medical problem so that at least we can eliminate the point she has not a medical problem.

Sister Henna I just feel like giving up with her because I have done my utter best to help ------ and as well looking after my mother as she is a single parent of mine her health is getting worse she is on anti depression tablets.

It has been 16 months I have been married I got married last July and-------just stayed with me till January after her mis carriage. I can see for my self that she is loosing interest in me and does not want to live with me (this might be due to her condition that she is in).

Sis Henna I know she would not go to doctors and her parents won’t let this happen, I have tried my best to help her but family and relatives come in the way. She does not want to live with me and she is living at her mother’s house because she believes she not comfortable living at my mum’s house (where I live) and she thinks she faints a lot there.

I am only 18 in fulltime education at last year of six form I am ready to give up my education to help my wife out to give her all the help support that she needs.

Sis Henna I know I can’t carry on living like a single life even though I am married. I don’t know why I seem to be fed up and just wanting to divorce her.

It is maybe because my wife is not listening to me and does not see me as a husband but like a stranger. She is all fine with other people in talking wise but when it comes to me she all quite and what it makes me feel hurt the most is that I am like a stranger to her. I really want to have a family of my own and have wife that does her part as a wife by following the obligation of wife according to Islam and me doing my part as husband.

Sister Henna what do you think I should do…

Wasillam

Thank u very much for help



waalaykum assalaam and Thnx for details
May Allah help you out . My utmost prayers for you to remain united; so that you can practice

"Bear with me! Grow old with me.Best has yet to come!"

"May Lord unite you two in the best of union" Prophet's sws dua'

Marriage is a life time bondage and one needs to sacrifice in order to keep this. You can see the difference in relations between the eastern and western society for that matter. Where people feel there's no need to suffer/sacrifice for eachother, broken families result.

Have posted your query and will let you know when reply comes from islamic scholars
In the meantime plz see

http://www.studying-islam.org/querytext.aspx?id=25


wassalaam 'n regards
henna

Dr.HKhan
for free internet courses on Islam visit
www.studying-islam.org
for academic material on Islam visit
www.monthly-renaissance.com


Edited by: hkhan on Saturday, November 20, 2004 3:14 AM
waseem

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, November 20, 2004  -  7:35 AM Reply with quote
Asallamu Alaykum
I would like to mention a couple of points.
Firstly I fully appreciate that at a very young age of 18 you seem to be coping with a lot of pressure.Lokking after your mother,illness of your wife and her estranged behaviour and full time education.The miscarrige will affect you as well.
However, my personal opinion is that this is not the time to judge or make decisions about leaving your wife.You will not do justice to your marrige or her.She is suffering from what in lay man term can be called a "nervous breakdown". her responses and behaviour do not reflect her true feelings. I would also like to add that at present she needs support and not judgement.
You need to have some mental support yourself,do you have an older person in your family that you ca speak to?
I always read the last few verses of Surah Baqrah in times of trouble and take inspiration from them.verse 286. Allah does not put a burden on anyone's shoulders beyond their means.For it (is only) that which it hath earned, and against it(only) that which it hath earned.Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget,or miss the mark! Our Lord Lay not on us such a burden as Thou didst lay on those before us! Our Lord! impose not on us that which we have not the strengthto bear! Pardon us, absolve us and have mercy on us.Thou, our protector, and give us victory over the disbelieving folk."
I also quote Surah AL-Nashrah.what Allah said to the Holy Prophet sws.
" But Lo! with hardship goeth ease.Lo! with hardship goeth ease."
My brother1 Life is a test for us to earn an everlasting life in paradise.Please do not make a hasty decision. A muslims way is prayers and patience.Patience is the biggest action and the most favoured and liked by Allah. It is bigger than Jehad or Holy war.I am fully aware that at this moment you have a seemingly easy choice to give up and a difficult one to hang in.Do not choose the short cut. Our prayers and wishes are with you and May Allah find the right way and have Mercy on all of us.
iqbappi

PAKISTAN
Posted - Sunday, November 21, 2004  -  4:36 PM Reply with quote
assalam u allekum
the case under discussion seems to be a case of conversion & dissociative disorder. she might be having these symptoms secondary to depressive illness.she must consult a psychiatrist
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Monday, November 22, 2004  -  9:52 AM Reply with quote
Many thnx Dr. Waseem and Dr. Iqbal for your valuable comments and j.k.
I'll make sure that the person is aware of your replies.
FARZANA

PAKISTAN
Posted - Tuesday, November 23, 2004  -  5:37 AM Reply with quote
Dea sir/madam
Your wife needs medical or psychological attention .Your is not clear written .No proper reasons are given .Firstly feed your wife with balanced diet .Recite Quran with translation and explanation ,offer prayers regularly. Pay sadqa .Make sure you donot waste Blessings of Allah.Take recorded cassettes of Qari Najmi ,the cassettes include his recitation of Quran.
Develop sence of security and confidence ,family love and care .Listen to her past experinces
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Tuesday, November 23, 2004  -  11:19 AM Reply with quote
assalamu alaykum and many thnx dear Farzana.The couple is aware and has seen the Link. Am hoping to see them and have a good collection now from you all to revise with them, as this is not a part of my speciality at all



In a message dated 22/11/2004 22:08:05 GMT Standard Time, @hotmail.com writes:
Sallam-Alkum

Thank you very much sis henna, i have realised that Patience is the key in this situation… I am going to persuade her to go to doctors and speak to the GP and me going along... one thing that i am worried about is ----- mother was saying ‘that if ------- does decide to go to the GP she was saying when ----------- while -------------was fainted (not her usual state)she was speaking (which the family claim it was a jinn) ifet was saying ‘I am going to tell the doctor False information which would not refer to her condition she is in’ for example she may say I do not want to live with my family any more’ I think the mother maybe worried that the GP may refer her to a hostel or something similar where the family can not see ----------The family is saying when she is not her usual such as when the family say it is not------------ but the jinn that has taken control of her and is doing hilarious things such an act such as she is trying to set the fire to the house, trying to jump out the window by running away, saying bizarre and ridiculous things..

I was very shocked when I heard and saw that when ----------was not in her usual state she actually broke one of her bangle (jewellery that is wore on the hand) and wrote on her arm ------------which the family say it was the jinn that wrote that on her arm using her body to do that with the bangle. Her arm was and still is showing the actual cut that is healing which show the word -----------------. ------------at the time said the Jinn did this at the time I did not feel the pain while the bangle was being digged in her arm writhing the word ---------------- which she say it the Jinns name. But later on the day she was saying her arm is stinging her where the cut was made which obviously would because a cut like that would sting.

She does not agree about the doctors I was thinking if u are able to talk to her and reassure that by going to doctors they want harm in any way but to help her. She thinks the doctors might look her up in a mental institution. I explained to her that they will only try to help by finding out the problems is they would not send you somewhere far where you would be looked up.

Sister Henna if you are able to talk to her that would be very helpful… she does not have internet facility where she lives nor do I, I use the schools internet facility. Sis Henna thanx for getting an scholars opinion.

Wassallam
K

Edited by: hkhan on Thursday, November 25, 2004 4:44 AM
surgeonakhlaq

PAKISTAN
Posted - Wednesday, November 24, 2004  -  8:48 PM Reply with quote
Assalaamu’alaikum,

Quote: And is doing hilarious things such an act such as she is trying to set the fire to the house, trying to jump out the window by running away, saying bizarre and ridiculous things.

1.I agree with all those who have diagnosed as a psychiatrist illness. The present situation as quoted above is an absolute and strong indication of admission of the patient to a hospital. She will not agree because she is a patient. It can be done with the help of a psychiatrist.

2.During hospitalisation, all the causes of brain oedema may be ruled out which is another important cause of fluctuating level of consciousness and such type of the behaviour, which is often missed. Chances are rare in this case but can be included in the differential diagnosis.

I advise her husband not to lose the patience, as it is his responsibility to take care of her. Do not worry, as it is a treatable problem and she will recover completely very soon.

May Allah improve her, his and their problem?
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Thursday, November 25, 2004  -  4:49 AM Reply with quote
many thnx/j.k. Dear Surgeon Akhlaq for the precious input. Noted.
Have spoken to them and the lady has agreed to see a psychiatrist.
Luckily we also have a muslim Pakistani lady in the area who does islamic psychological counselling and has been awarded an award of excellency by the area borough council for treating many comlicted cases lingering for years. Have informed them about her.
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Friday, December 10, 2004  -  11:26 AM Reply with quote
For spiritual counselling

Sakinah
Building Trust in the Community


info@sakinah.org.uk

phone: 0044 87000 53084 (plz leave your message if its answer machine and the therapist will call you back)

website http://www.sakinah.org.uk/
StudyingIslamUK

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Wednesday, February 1, 2006  -  1:44 AM Reply with quote
AA
Please could any one help me with contacts for the following:

child/family psychologist, preferably but not essentially Muslim, who you feel would be able to deliver a talk/ work shop on the subject of child development.(in UK)

Khalid

khalidanees@hotmail.com

Edited by: studyingislamuk on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 2:04 AM
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Monday, August 11, 2008  -  7:12 AM Reply with quote
robert is one of our nice buddhist faith partners.he understands that alhamdulillah we already hv a system of meditation and spirituality in our worship rituals which tackles depression & other such issues v well 'coz we also believe that a fraction of such comes from satan. however rob wishes we see wat he has to offer as well,


Page 1
treating depression NaturallyExploring the positive and natural attitudetowards treating depressionCreatingreatingreatingreating causesausesausesauses for happinessfor happinessfor happinessfor happinessbyRobert W. Gebka,Ph.D.cand(Holistic Counselling)(USA) AMIH (Hypnotherapy) GQHP (UK)Integrative Hypnotherapistwww.robertgebka.org
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Page 2
2what is depression? –understand what is going on.Let us first of all try to understand what depression is before we move forward and explore thepossible natural treatment options.Depression is a life condition that can affect anyone at any time.According to the NHS Direct website approximately 15% of the population will experience someor other form of depression at some point in their lives.Some health practitioners see depression exclusively as an illness whilst others like me go a stepfurther and view it as a life condition, something that can be accepted, worked with and resolved,often without the use of detrimental allopathic antidepressant medication.Depression is a mind-body life condition characterised by both psychological and physicalsymptoms. Psychologically people who experience depression can feel:• continuous low mood, or sadness, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness,• low self-esteem, tearfulness, feelings of guilt, feeling irritable and intolerant towards others,• lack of motivation, and little interest in things in general, lack of enjoyment,• difficulty making decisions, suicidal thoughts, or thoughts of harming someone else,• anxiousness or worry.The physical symptoms can be:•slowed movement and speech, change in appetite and weight (your weight will usuallydecrease, but sometimes it may increase),•digestive complaints, such as indigestion, constipation or diarrhoea ,•unexplained aches and pains, lack of energy and a lack of interest in sex,•changes to the menstrual cycle for women.There are many ways of looking at depression and its causes, depending on how you look at lifeand whom you choose to listen to. As much as definitions of depression can vary, the symptomsare usually similar for everyone who experiences this life condition.looking at depression –create an empowering, positive understandingDepression can be seen as a signal from our unconscious minds telling us that some part ofourselves needs to be reclaimed, expressed, accepted and re-aligned. It can be seen as a signal tolook within yourself and bring into balance whatever it is that is out of balance. I look at treatingeach person WHOLISTICALLY. In other words when it comes to treating the person who isexperiencing depression I look for clues or factors that might be causing or contributing to theirdepression. These clues can be found on the physical level: the state of one’s body, thepsychological level: one’s thoughts, cognitions and emotions and the transpersonal level: one’s
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contd:
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Monday, August 11, 2008  -  7:12 AM Reply with quote
contd:

Page 3
3GREATER attitude to life. WHOLISTICALLY means taking into regard the individual’s body, mindand HIGER potential.I support the mind-body medicine paradigm which states that the body influences the mind and themind influences the body. Generally, the idea is that a healthy body follows a happy mind and ahappy mind follows a healthy body. If one’s body is suffering form chronic toxicity and poornutrition (often caused by our modern fast food diet) then that will definitely influence the mindnegatively and in some instances even cause depression. If one’s mind is constantly under stressthen we know from the science of Psychoneuroimmunology that that will negatively influence yourbody and cause disease. Looking at depression this way you can be empowered that you can dosomething about it. Remember that abundance of health, including abundance of mental health isyour own creation and so is the lack of it. Choose to listen to people who tell you that you can dosomething about it, don’t listen to people or institutions that tell you that it is beyond your control.Having a basic understanding of the mind-body paradigm is the basis of all health and wellness.treatment options –Choose a treatment that really supportsHEALTH , WELLNESS & HAPPINESSThis basically comes down to you having a CHOICE of either fighting your depression orWORKING with it creatively. I personally recommend WORKING with it due to the fact that whatyou resist will naturally persist. This is the way the mind works. I encourage my clients to see theirtime of depression as ME time and as a way of reflecting and getting to know yourself. This isTRUE personal development. Overcoming your SELF CREATED fear of looking at the depression isone of the first steps that you will need to take on your journey to recovery. In order to findhappiness you must be willing to learn to gradually embrace and work with your ownunhappiness. Depression can be a great source of change and inspiration. It all depends how youCHOOSE to look at it!Being a professional hypnotherapist I support the natural view of understanding and treatingdepression. There are nowadays many wonderful and successful treatment options ranging fromhomeopathic medicine to psychotherapy and of course hypnotherapy. I have personallyexperienced all of the above therapeutic modalities in WORKING with my own depression andhence recommend these from experience rather than just theory. I also acknowledge that there is apositive and responsible use of antidepressant medication, especially in cases where thedepression is really severe, (also referred to as major or clinical depression). However, on thewhole I feel that there are better and usually more successful alternatives to that of often toxicpsychotropic drugs.One of the natural methods which you can explore is Integrative Hypnotherapy. IntegrativeHypnotherapy is humanistic in nature and incorporates the transpersonal view of the mind, in otherwords it views the PERSON in its totality, namely: having a body, psyche and HIGHER potential.This attitude towards healing accepts that optimum health can only be achieved when all theselevels are integrated and working in unison Integrative Hypnotherapy employs the cognitivebehavioural model and acknowledges that depression is caused by vicious negative and selfdefeating thought patterns with then turn into painful feelings, forming a painful depressed habit. In
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Page 4
4order to change the habit of depression we need to change the thoughts that create it. Toaccomplish this we sometimes use Analytical hypnosis to uncover the root of such negativethoughts, as well as hypnotic suggestion therapy to directly reprogram those negative defeatingself statements into positive, happy and encouraging self statements.In my practice I also utilise Bio-energy therapy especially when the client feels emotionallyexhausted and has troublesome physical symptoms. One or two sessions of Bio-energy therapy willusually settle and balance the psycho-neurological system and calm down the situation. Once thatis accomplished we can then start working with the mind using hypnotherapy.finding encouragement –YOU have a CHOICE!In order to encourage yourself into this WORKING with attitude you can try reading a book or astory of someone who has overcome their depression. Accept that they did it and remind yourselfthat it is possible to be happy. At this point let this reminder be a cognitive fact rather than anemotional realisation. I say cognitive fact as you might not yet be in a position to actually realisethat given the right attitude and approach you can make sense of the depression, let it go and bereasonably happy. Finding a positive role model is very important in any recovery. We can gainstrength and inspiration from such influences, and we can rest assured that it will all be ok at theend. Reminding yourself that there is hope for recovery is what can give you the necessaryencouragement to positively WORK with the depression which is affecting you. Having said thisYOU are the one that needs to find the strength, which is going to help you in working with thedepression. Some people find it by reminding themselves that others have overcome it, whileothers find encouragement in spirituality and prayer while still others find it in supportive familyrelationships.Having this unique and realistic attitude is the most important aspect of the treatment of the personexperiencing depression. Notice that I said the treatment of the person and not the treatment of thedepression. This is also a uniquely different attitude to that of some of the narrow minded orthodoxtherapeutic models which see you as being sick and therefore in need of fixing. In fact you don’tneed any fixing. You need support, openness, acceptance, love and freedom to explore and notfixing. There is nothing broken, all that there is, is an imbalance of forces. Once you can have amore supportive and compassionate attitude towards yourself and your depression things will bemuch easier.support yourselfSo as you can see there is an alternative way of looking at yourself and the depression that youare experiencing. You can see it as a curse and hence as a huge problem or you can choose tosee it as a kind of internal misunderstanding, something that can be explored, processed andunderstood, re-aligned and let go of. The journey to recovery is not an easy one, but it is also notthat difficult once you have accepted it and choose to work with it creatively. Hypnotherapy cangreatly support this process to recovery. Feel free to contact me for more information on how I canhelp you become happier.
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Page 5
5We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts,We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts,We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts,We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts,we make the worldwe make the worldwe make the worldwe make the world– aZen sayingFor more information on treatment visitwww.robertgebka.orgwww.purtonhousecentre.com
StudyingIslamUK

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, March 7, 2009  -  8:13 AM Reply with quote
Hi Henna

Herewith some info about me and the mental health & personal development services I provide:


[green]Art of Mind CONCEPTS

The Art of Mind CONCEPTS is an organisation which provides a safe space for personal reflection, exploration, healing and integration. Our aim is to offer our life long experience and professional skill to those interested in making positive changes in their life.



[pre][pre]Robert Gebka is a hypnotherapist, human potential facilitator and a teacher of Mindfulness Based Meditation. Currently enrolled in a Doctor of Philosophy in holistic counselling program at the University of Metaphysics International USA he is at present engaged in research on meditation and hypnotherapy for his Master’s degree.

Robert’s own search for wholeness has led him to embark on a heartfelt journey of both psychological and spiritual integration. Formerly a Zen Buddhist monk he spent five years at the Nan Hua Buddhist Monastery in South Africa where he studied Mindfulness Based psychology, Zen meditation and Buddhist philosophy under the guidance of Grand Master Hsing Yun.[/pre]


Within hypnotherapy Robert holds a General Qualification in Hypnotherapy Practice as well as a diploma in Professional Hypnotherapy. He also possesses the Metaphysical Practitioner’s diploma as well as Reiki Shoden & Okuden (Level I & II) in traditional Japanese Reiki from the Jikiden Reiki Institute, Japan. While in South Africa Robert served as the founding director of the Stress Clinic where he treated people suffering from stress related physical and psychological conditions. He also has a direct and personal experience living with anxiety & depression as well as drug addiction and expresses genuine empathy for people suffering with these life experiences and conditions.[/pre]


Our services include:
Therapeutic Work, Facilitated Group Presentations/Talks, as well as Group Retreats

Therapeutic Work:
Personally tailored therapeutic consultations in:

Clinical Hypnotherapy
Short-term Person Centred Counselling
Transpersonal Psychotherapy
Traditional Japanese Jikiden Reiki
Individual mindfulness training sessions

Facilitated Group Presentations/Talks

The Art of befriending your mind
How to be your own best friend

The Art of being a BAMBOO
How to find STRENGTH, STABILITY & STILNESS among the blowing winds of drug addiction.

The Art of Finding your WAY
Exploring, settling in, supporting and maintaining your uniquely individual PATH to Self-awareness and wellbeing.

The Art of treating depression Naturally
Exploring creative ways in working with depression
How to create causes for a happy mind

The Art of Practical Spirituality
Exploring the concept of spirituality in modern day living

Group Retreats


Beginners MIND
Group facilitated Mindfulness Based Meditation Retreat with Yoga


Beginners ZEN
Group facilitated traditional Zen meditation retreat with Chinese tea meditation & music,


The Tranquility Getaway
A Mindfulness Based stress management & wellness weekend retreat
with group facilitated discussions on befriending your mind, the art of letting go,
basic Yoga and introduction to the psychology and practice of
Mindfulness Based Meditation.

www.robertgebka.org

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