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atifrafi
PAKISTAN
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 Topic initiated on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 12:31 PM 
Is Marriage Compulsory?
Salaam,
I was just going through the course material of Module - 1. It is written on Page 2 - 3 :
In order to firmly establish a society on these fundamentals, an everlasting bond between the spouses is made essential in the religion of the Prophets
I just want to know that is it obligatory for Muslims to marry? Because we know that some of the greatest of scholors like Imam Ibn Taymmiah, Imam At Tabari, Imam Nawawi and Imam Bukhari remained single.
At the same time, Prophet Jesus Christ and Prophet Yayha ( I don't remember the name in English ) did not marry in their life.
Its little bit confusing that if it is "essential" then why these people did not marry ?
Regards |
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Yazmeenah
USA
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Posted - Friday, May 13, 2005 - 7:08 AM 
| Prophet Jesus said that if one cannot contain his/her lower self it would be best to marry rarher than burn in the hell fires. To me this is saying that he had control and was giving his life to God because that was his calling..Unlike Muslims who are to complete our din, marriage is half of our religion however, i believe that Allah gives a wife to those he chooses |
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ibrahim
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Sunday, May 15, 2005 - 4:53 PM
w Salaam
Plz note that "Essential" does NOT imply that it's COMPULSORY.
Never the less Marriage is THE NATURAL way of LIVING life. To me Living without it is AN Exception There shoud be a STRONG reason for it.
Edited by: ibrahim on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 5:12 AM |
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atifrafi
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, May 16, 2005 - 8:08 AM
Salaam,
Sir,
Thanks for your comments. If there is no Solid Reason for not marrying, Will a person be liable to be punished?
Actually one of my friend is insisting that he don't want toi marry. I asked him about the reason and he said to me :
"My parents are insisting that I have to marry within my cast & as this is against Islam and Humanity, so to protest, I have declared that I will not marry in my own cast"
Sir, do you think that this is strong enough reason, as he is fighting against some odd routine. |
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Siddiq Bukhary
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, May 16, 2005 - 9:25 AM
"In order to firmly establish a society on these fundamentals, an everlasting bond between the spouses is made essential in the religion of the Prophets"
I am afraid your inference is not corrcet. The stress in these lines is upon everlasting.I would suggest you please re-read the following passage of the module 1, and hope after studying there will be no further ambiguity.
"It is asserted with great stress and clarity that in the eyes of the Almighty there is only one legitimate way to satisfy one’s sexual desire: marriage (Nikah). If marriage is somehow not possible then this cannot become a license for gratifying one’s sexual desire without entering into the marital bond. Consequently, the society is urged to wed people who as yet have not been able to marry. Marriage is an open declaration of a contract by a man and woman to live permanently as husband and wife. It is declared in the presence of people through a responsible personality with great solemnity and gravity after he delivers a sermon to counsel and guide them. It is evident from divine scriptures that this way was adopted from the very birth of man on this earth. Consequently, the Qur’an was not required to give a new directive in this regard. As an age old Sunnah of the Prophets, Muhammad (sws) passed it on to his Ummah thus keeping it intact. In the above quoted verses, besides urging people to follow this practice, they are given glad tidings that even if they are poor they should marry in order to protect themselves from immoral acts: hopefully, the Almighty will bless them with resources if they resolve to follow this practice." |
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atifrafi
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, May 16, 2005 - 11:44 AM
Salaam,
Respected Siddiq Sb, thanks for the clarification. Sir, what would you say about my other question.
Regards |
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Siddiq Bukhary
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 7:52 AM
If a person does not marry, whether will he be punished or not, shariah is silent in this regard, however keeping in view the overall mood of the Shariah it can be said that he will not be punished provided he keeps his chastity and piety. Marriage is helpful for the purpose.
The problem indicated by you is not religious rather a social one, and it should be resolved on social grounds. If the proposed marriage is otherwise OK, then I think, he should surrender before his parents because marrying within his caste will bring some social fruit for him. I think it is not a solid reason for refusal though the obduracy of his parents is also undue. He should record his protest and communicate his feelings in some better way. |
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atifrafi
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 11:06 AM
Assalam o Alaikum,
I have talked to him and found that the actual problem is little bit different. His parents refused a proposal only for one reason, the girl was not of their cast.... His parents didn't even met the girl or any of the family members and refused by saying that "we don't want to spoil our new generation...."
Now, Islam tells us that everyperson is equal and the superiority is only on the basis of piety..... Don't you think that this behaviour of the parents is against the Islamic teachings.
In my opinion, he is trying to convey the true message of Islam and for that he is using this step, which may be inappropriate but still he has some reason which he thinks is valid enough. Can you please guide how we can convince him. If you think that as a friend I should try & he is following some wrong path to convey his message.
Regards |
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Siddiq Bukhary
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, May 30, 2005 - 6:45 AM
| Marriage should be on realistic grounds. Though Shariah allows him to refuse yet the pressure of society is also a material thing and that should also be considered keeping in view facts and figures. The result of this marriage would be that he will have to lead an isolated life without the support of family which is really a difficult thing. I would suggest the same that he should surrender before the will of his parents however Shariah allows him to refuse if he decides. Wish him better decision. |
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ibrahim
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 5:55 AM
One More Thing I'll like to ADD here.
Plz TELL your friend that if he surrenders & sacrifices then a GREAT reward from GOD will wait for him
&
He can use his this LOGIC when he'll be IN POWER ie when he'll be marrying his children; daughters & sons.
Me too Wish Him a better decision BUT I'll suggest that he should delay his Decision a Little bit & Let the things to COOL DOWN too.
Regards |
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atifrafi
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 11:01 AM
Respected Sir Ibrahim and Siddiq, Thanks a lot for your comments. I have conveyed your guidelines to my friend and hopefully there will be some better decision from him, Currently he is trying to convince his parents and may be he will succeed in his effort.
Currently, I have managed to convince him a little bit, Now he is saying that he will marry in some other cast, not in his own. But I am hopeful that with your help I'll be able to convince him completely.
Regards |
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Siddiq Bukhary
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, June 6, 2005 - 8:24 AM
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Loveall
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Friday, June 10, 2005 - 10:00 PM
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
GOD SAYS: And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents, and if they contend with you that you should associate (others) with Me, of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, to Me is your return, so I will inform you of what you did (29: 8)
The verse shows that there is only one indication i.e. the deeds associated with Shirk (Polytheism), where one is allowed to refuse one’s parents otherwise NOT.
In every matter except Shirk, the parents must be convinced lightly, if they do not agree one has NO right to refuse.
Wassalam with the saying of God:
And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) "Ugh" nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion, and say: O my Lord! Have compassion on them, as they brought me up (when I was) little. (17: 23-24). |
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Abrar75
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 6:52 AM
| I am not inetrested what Imam Ibn Taymmiah, Imam At Tabari, Imam Nawawi and Imam Bukhari did. I am interested wtaht our Prophet did. So according to Sunnah it is very much importatn. |
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ibrahim
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 8:35 AM
| Well Brother Abrar I'll recommend that You should First go thru the Course "Understanding the Sunnah" & TWO courses about "Family & Marriage" & then Decide that ur Above stated Comment Has WHAT Value ? |
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tariqdastagir
USA
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Posted - Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 9:25 AM
Assalam Alakum,
First a little comment on the current thread.
In my humble opinoin, Islam (Quran, Hadith) has advised us to be nice to our parents and deal with them in best manners at many places, BUT it is not advised that we should obey them in every matter. Absolute obedience is only for Allah and for His Prophet as he is the messenger of Allah.
In order to keep the things straight I would dare to say that I do not agree with "Loveall"s (Posted - Friday, June 10, 2005) interpretation of the above Quranic verses.
I hope moderater can further comment on that for our guidance.
Now my second question is about beating wives.
This view is contrary to the view of Imam Amin Ahsan Islahi as mentioned in the course as explained in the following paragraphs. I will really appreciate your comments.
"" Transliteration
Alrrijalu qawwamoona AAala alnnisa-i bima faddala Allahu baAAdahum AAala baAAdin wabima anfaqoo min amwalihim faalssalihatu qanitatun hafithatun lilghaybi bima hafitha Allahu waallatee takhafoona nushoozahunna faAAithoohunna waohjuroohunna fee almadajiAAi waidriboohunna fa-in ataAAnakum fala tabghoo AAalayhinna sabeelan inna Allaha kana AAaliyyan kabeeran
Explanation (tafsir) of Sura 4:34
Here is the translation of meaning of the verse as best can be defined according to the rules of understanding Quran with the explanations following this translation:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). Regarding the woman who is guilty of lewd, or indecent behavior, admonish her (if she continues in this indecency then), stop sharing her bed (if she still continues doing this lewd behavior, then), [set forth for her the clear meaning of either straighten up or else we are finished and when she returns to proper behavior take up sharing the bed with her again], but if she returns in obedience (to proper behavior and conduct) then seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.”
Meaning of the Words
For the three words fa'izu, wahjaru, and wadribu in the original, translated here ‘speak to them in a persuasive manner’, ‘leave them alone (in bed - fi'l-madage'),’ and ‘have intercourse’, respectively, see Raghib Lisan al-'Arab and Zamakhsari. Raghib in his Al-Mufridat fi Gharib al-Qur'an gives the meanings of these words with special reference to this verse. Fa-'izu, he says, means to 'to talk to them so persuasively as to melt their hearts.'
(See also v.63 of this Surah where it has been used in a similar sense.)
Hajara - Wahjaru (do not touch or moleste them)
Hajara, he says, means to separate body from body, and points out that the expression wahjaru hunna metaphorically means to refrain from touching or molesting them. Zamakhshari is more explicit in his Kshshaf when he says, 'do not get inside their blankets.'
Here is the translation of meaning of the verse as best can be defined according to the rules of understanding Quran with the explanations following this translation:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). Regarding women guilty of lewd, or indecent behavior, admonish her (if she continues in this indecency then), stop sharing her bed (if she still continues doing this lewd behavior, then), [set forth for her the clear meaning of either straighten up or else we are finished and when she returns to proper behavior take up sharing the bed with her again], but if she returns in obedience (to proper behavior and conduct) then seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.”
Let me begin by explaining the English language is not powerful enough when it comes to translating the meanings of the Arabic of the Quran. Nor for that matter, is any other language on earth. So, all we have is translations of meanings according to the best understanding of the translators.
The operative word in this verse in Arabic is "daraba." While there are literally hundreds of uses for this word varying from "tap" to "walk in stride" to "strike at something" to "set a clear example", the only meaning that can be assigned to something in the Quran must be according to the rules of Quran. And Allah has used the same word a number of times with a consistent meaning. Let us examine them.
Here is what we find from the scholars of the Arabic language:
Daraba (to have intercourse, not to beat)
Raghib points out that daraba metaphorically means to have intercourse, and quotes the expression darab al-fahl an-naqah, 'the stud camel covered the she-camel,' which is also quoted by Lisan al-'Arab. It cannot be taken here to mean 'to strike them (women).' This view is strengthened by the Prophet's authentic hadith found in a number of authorities, including Bukhari and Muslim: "Could any of you beat your wife as he would a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?" There are other traditions in Abu Da'ud, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad bin Hanbal and others, to the effect that he forbade the beating of any woman, saying: "Never beat God's handmaidens."
Source: al-Qur'an: a contemporary translation by Ahmed Ali, Princeton University Press, 1988; pp78-79
Daraba (to set forth, to make a clear statement or proclamation)
One of the key rules of understanding words of the Quran is to go to other places in the Quran to investigate the usage in other places. This word is used by Allah in other places in the Quran to mean "set forth" or "sets up for you" or "makes known to you" - as is demonstrated in the following verses:
Surah Ar-Ra'd (13:17) yadribu Allahu al-amthala “Thus Allah sets forth a parable”
[here the word "yadirbu" is from the exact same root da-ra-ba]
Surah Ibrahim (14:24): Alam tara kayfa daraba Allahu mathalan .. “Don’t you see how Allah sets forth a parable?..”
And again in the next verse: Surah Ibrahim (14:25) wa yadribu Allahu al-amthala li-naasi
“..and Allah sets forth parables for mankind..”
[again the word yadirbu is from da-ra-ba]
Surah An-Nur (24:35) wa yadribu Allahu al0amthala lin-naasi
“And Allah sets forth parables for mankind..”
Surah Ar-Rum (30:28) Daraba lakum mathalan min anfusikum
“He sets forth for you a parable from yourselves..”
Surah At-Tahreem (66:10) Daraba Allahu mathalan lillatheena kafaroo..
“Allah sets forth an example for those disbelievers..”
In fact, the word daraba has not been translated to mean (beat) or (hit) or (strike) in any other verse of the Quran except this one.
The words for (beat) as in [to hit] found in Surah Baqarah 2:275 ... kama yaqoomu allathee yatakhabbatuhu ash-shaytanu mina almassi..
"..like the standing of someone beaten by the devil (Satan) leading him to insanity."
And in Surah Ta Ha 20:18 Allah Says, “Qala hiya Aasaya atawakkao Aalayha waahushshu biha Aala ghanamee waliya feeha maaribu okhra.”
"This is my stick, whereon I lean, and wherewith I beat down branches for my sheep and wherein I find other uses."
As you can see, these are not even related to the word (daraba).
Verses 34 and 35 in Surah An-Nisaa' need to be read together to understand this is the proper relationship between men and women in general and husband and wife specifically.
Islam seeks to hold the family together and to make peace and reconciliation between spouses. The next verse makes it clear what to do in the case where it seems that divorce may be the result of the uncorrected bad behavior. It stresses appointing arbitrators from both sides and seeks reconciliation.
The first part of 34 deals with all men taking care of all women. Then goes on to explain the wife's proper obedience to Allah because He is the One Who has ordained this relationship of provision and protection for her and to be appreciative and respectful of her husband, guarding herself and his property in his absence. The man is told the proper way to behave when he finds his wife not complying with decency and proper behavior of a Muslim wife. He has a direct order to begin with admonishing her and then if there is compliance to leave her be and don't give her a hard time about it. However, if this continues, he should not have sex with her and this makes it clear to her that he is most serious and this not a joke. Again, if she comes around then he is to let it go and not bother her about it. Finally, if she still insists on such lewdness and bad conduct, he is to make it clear to her in no uncertain terms that they are going to be heading for separation or even divorce unless she comes back to proper behavior. Again, if she complies, then he should not bring it up and return to the bed with her.
And of course, this is all in an effort to translate one short but powerful phrase from Arabic to English. The sources are quoted herein and there may be other interpretations but the only acceptable ones are those based on the teachings of the Quran and the prophet, peace be upon him.
And as always, Allahu 'Alim (Allah is the Knower)
Source: al-Qur'an: a contemporary translation by Ahmed Ali, Princeton University Press, 1988; pp78-79
In the past, some translators of this verse have mistakeningly used the word "beat" or "hit" or even "scourge" (as in the case of an old translation) to represent the word "daraba" in Arabic. This is not the opinion of all scholars especially Raghib and Zamakhshari as mentioned above and those who are well grounded in both Islam understanding and the English language.
34.
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see illconduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great.
The understanding now is that some of the translations are not properly representing the spirit of the meaning. Therefore, they cannot be considered to be the representation of what has been intended by Almighty God.
Now we can properly understand that Almighty God has commanded the men to provide for the women and allow them to keep all of their wealth, inheritance and income without demanding anything from them for support and maintenance. Additionally, if she should be guilty of lewd or indecent conduct, the husband is told to first, admonish her and then if she would cease this lewdness. If she should continue in this indecency, then he should no longer share the bed with her, and this would continue for a period of time. Finally, if she would repent then he would take up sharing the bed with her again.
And Allah is All Knowing of the meanings. """ |
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